MAUREEN'S TIPS ON FIRST MEETINGS

1. Keep it casual. Go for a coffee or a walk in a public place. Do not have someone pick you up at home, or go to his or her home on the first meeting. We strongly recommend that you exchange photo I.D. at your first meeting.

2. Ensure you have ample time to get ready and are comfortable with your appearance.

3. Leave your expectations of who you want this individual to be at home. That way you will never be disappointed.

4. If you do not receive a phone call after the first meeting, do not hesitate to call back. Women in particular should not be afraid to take the next step.

5. Keep the conversation light. Centre on interests and activities, family and career.

6. Do not discuss past relationships. Ever. Your private life is your private life.

7. Be respectful. If after the first meeting you decide this person is not for you, let them know in a kind and respectful manner. But do not go into long detail as to why this meeting is not working for you. Why it doesn't work for you is not the other's fault.

8. Go Dutch! Equality in a relationship should start with the first bill. No one will leave feeling resentful or less equal in the relationship.

9. Don't give up! If you have met a few people and haven't found that special person, don't despair. This will be one of the most important choices you will ever make in your life. In the meantime, enjoy the experience of getting to know others and learning how to manage a healthy relationship.

10. Keep your heart open to all possibilities. You may be pleasantly surprised.

PERSONAL VALUES

Select the top ten values that are most important to you. By going through this process you will be able to identify your personal values, and what you look for in a partner. Our values in relationships do not necessarily have to be the same. It is the differences and how we work them out is what is important.

We invite you to complete this exercise and save the information for your own personal reference.

This exercise will help you to become more aware of:

• Your personal values to identify your significant values: (What you will bring to a relationship)
  
• The match between your values and the values of your partner:
  (Can create dynamics in the relationships) It can be very complimentary or may work against the relationship. Our differences are more about knowing how to problem-solve, to honour and accept both our own and our partner's values. This defines equality in our partnerships.
  
• Family of origin values are often very black and white:
  (It's having the awareness of the values that we carry from our family's past that sometimes don't apply to today's relationships) It's not always about letting a value go, but rather realizing the flexibility and choices that we have today. Our society today lives in so much affluence that some of these values are just ingrained from our history.

  THERE ARE MANY VALUES, THESE ARE JUST A FEW
  

  FREEDOM	FINANCIAL SECURITY	ACCOUNTABILITY
  FAIRNESS	FAITHFULNESS	INNER PEACE
  SPIRITUAL BELIEF	LIGHT HEARTED/FUN LOVING	PHYSICAL FITNESS
  HEALTHY	SELF-ESTEEM	TEAM BUILDER
  FAMILY VALUES	EMOTIONAL WELL BEING	EQUALITY
  CREATIVE	ORGANIZED	UNIQUENESS
  COMMUNITY MINDED	SPONTANEITY	KINDNESS
  INTELLIGENCE	CURIOSITY	ENVIRONMENTAL
  GOOD ETHICS	STABILITY	SELF-EMPOWERING
  POWER	SINCERITY	HONOURABLE
  RESPONSIBLE	SELF-DIRECTED	INITIATIVE
  RELIGION	FLEXIBILITY	COMPETITIVENESS
  COMPASSIONATE	LOVING	HAPPINESS

THE FOLLOWING BOOKS MAYBE OF SOME VALUE TO YOU, IN BUILDING A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF AND YOUR PARTNER: